Kathy Rohloff:

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Oftentimes I find myself hiding my face behind my hands so that my grandsons will not see my response to the recent declaration that has issued forth from their mouths.

The older they get, the more they talk, and they manage to keep their parents and grandparents laughing.

For the last year Karl has remarked, "If you ask my opinion..." or "Trust me on this..." in a perfect parody of his mother. It's a little hard to take him seriously since he's only been around for 4-1/2 years.

He makes it quite clear that he has an opinion on a variety of subjects which are an interesting blend of science, fiction, and truth.

When Paacha, his grandfather, was recently hospitalized, Karl came bearing a bag filled with cookies and a large rock. Dominic, at two, was in charge of the colored pictures. They marched proudly into Paacha's hospital room and, at an OK from me, rushed to give Paacha the gifts.

"Wow, are these all for me?" he asked. "Those pictures are beautiful, Domi. I love cookies, my favorite. And Karl, that's a really big red rock. Did you find it yourself?" he asked.

"Yes. It's a volcano rock."

"A volcano rock?"

"Uh-huh. I found it in my yard."

"In your yard? The front yard?"

"It's the only one like it."

"Wow!" Paacha said.

"How do you know that it was from a volcano?" I asked.

Proudly, he replied, "I just know, that's why. I think it fell out of the top when the volcano was on fire and rolled into the yard. Isn't it nice?"

"It is indeed," we agreed.

At the time of the visit, his mother was having an ultrasound upstairs. Karl explained, "Mama will be here later. She's having the doctor look at her tummy to see if she can get pregnant."

"What do you think about that?" I asked.

"Well, Domi wants a brother, but I want a twen."

"You want ten?" we said in anxious chorus.

"No, a twen."

"Do you mean a twin?" I asked.

"Yeah, I want a twen. Somebody that looks just like me."

"But a twin has to be born at the same time as you," I countered. "You can't have a twin when you are already four."

"But I still want a twen. I told Mama. Maybe we can get one."

Since Karl's mama is the leading authority in his life, we decided to drop the subject. She could tackle the "twen" dilemma.

Some time later Karl was told he could not watch Spiderman until he was older.

"It would be too scary for you," said his mom. "You'd have nightmares. It's an adult movie." For Karl, most movies fall into the adult category, and he will have to wait until he gets older.

Karl was being tucked into bed a few nights later. He knew that his mama and papa were going to relax, watch a movie, and have a glass of wine.

"Mama, I can't wait until I get older," he said.

"Why is that?"

"Because then I can stay up with you and papa and watch adult movies and drink wine."

As Elisabeth told me later that night, "I sure hope he doesn't announce that desire when we're standing in a crowd of people."