Pattern of Abuse
All Too Familiar

The children and adults of Bradford are very much in our thoughts as they begin their healing process in the wake of the recent charges filed against Richard Foster.

These events may have a significant impact on the many people in our community who are survivors of past sexual abuse, as a child or as an adult. Safeline is the non-profit organization that works with survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault. Located in Chelsea, we serve residents of Orange County and parts of Windsor.

I would like to invite community members to feel free to use our 24/7 confidential hotline (1-800-639-7233) as these events unfold if you feel the need to get further information about this subject or emotional support for yourselves.

I also want to take this opportunity to highlight a troubling but important fact that this type of incident so blatantly reminds us of: Although some children are sexually assaulted by a stranger, they are most often sexually assaulted by someone known to them, usually by someone they trust. In fact, in 90% of child sexual abuse cases, the child knows and trusts the person who commits the abuse.

The perpetrator may be a family member. He/she may be a member of the child’s larger community such as a teacher, neighbor, coach, counselor, etc. In those cases, the perpetrator often begins a process referred to as "grooming" which usually takes place over a period of time. The child may interact with the perpetrator in the presence of family members or other trusted adults, and that gives the child the impression that this person is okay to be with because of the approval of other adults.

Over time, the perpetrator may spend significant time alone with the child, and give the child various presents, take him/her on trips, invite them to a special camp, etc. (things that are very appealing to the child). All this takes place before the perpetrator makes his/her initial move to encourage the child to participate in something inappropriate, which may or may not involve touching.

Because the perpetrator knows the individual child very well, he or she knows what to say and what strategies to use to get the child to do what they want. Once some inappropriate/illegal activity has occurred, the perpetrator may use a range of strategies to insure that child’s silence ranging from threats (No one will believe you, I’ll hurt your Mom, Dad, pet, etc.) to coercion (You are very special to me, This will be our little secret, etc.).

This type of exploitation is one that we do not like to think about on a regular basis. It is hard to admit that it even happens. But, unfortunately it does happen, and probably more often than any of us will ever know.

If any parent reading this has any questions or concerns and does not know where to turn—or if these incidents have brought up memories of your own abuse, please call Safeline at 1-800-639-7233 at anytime, day or night. You are not alone.

Nancy Lynch, Director

Safeline, Inc.

Chelsea